This week I noticed some of the little things I do without thinking about them. I grab the girls’ towels from their hooks without noticing. I probably picked up ten other things along the way that I didn’t notice I picked up. I turned off the overhead lights and flipped on soothing dim evening lights around the apartment without noticing.
Later I went into the bathroom to reach for something… Without thinking, I pulled down a roll of toilet paper! Any time I reach into that corner of the bathroom it is usually for TP, and that’s what I automatically reached for.
And why was I psyched? Because I realized that most of my mama habits were not there my whole life. If they can take root this completely, some without my even trying, than the new habits I WANT to create, and I’m willing to put my effort into, certainly can stick.
Have you ever thought hard habits are super easy to grow, but good habits take a lot of work? Well I’m here to tell you that statement is a habit of the mind, in and of itself. You CAN tell yourself a new story about your life and your tendencies, and they won’t change overnight, but I promise you things shift. Meditating and writing intentions each morning comes as naturally to me as tweezing eyebrows each morning before coffee was for a friend (true story!), and I promise you I haven’t been doing these things my whole life (or even my whole yogi doula life).
This year has been a challenging one for my family. Trust me I can relate to how easy it is to shrink from the responsibilities that don’t pull at your shirt sleeve (and even some that do). I opened to support (doulas believe in such things), and admitted vulnerably how much I want to put myself back out there in a big way rather than run on passive income and autopilot.
New good habits creep in that you don’t give yourself credit for because you they won’t look so shiny or polished for another few years still. When you’re so focused on forcing one habit, you might neglect to notice (or even suppress) another great one that is percolating. And let’s not forget the old habits we don’t even give ourselves credit for (hoping you washed those hands when you left the bathroom?!?)
They say it takes 40 days to form a new habit… that has always impressed me. That’s not so long! And only as I finish writing this do I notice that it corresponds to my 40th birthday this year – I can make it the start of even 40 years of habitual trust.
I’m not even gonna even get started about how this applies to birth and baby care… (I’ll save for another post!). But I will say so much of knowledge is about reconnecting with deep truths (sometimes with a caring guide) that you already had inside yourself.
What habits have you created without even trying feel automatic to you since becoming a parent?